I know I am a little late in saying that, but things around here have been busy, well, I guess it's felt that way, I don't know if I really am, maybe more like "putting things off." I have a great habit of doing that. ::insert sarcasm here:: So anyway, here I am off and
Fabulous. Not really how I was hoping to start the "grand kickoff" to my weight loss, amongst other goals I have set for myself this year. (No New Year's resolutions for me, I have changed my mindset), and instead have decided upon goals, I make resolutions every year, usually the same ones and they never come to be, let alone even started. This year my goals are these ( In no particular order, because they are all important to me):
1. Lose weight, get healthier so I can go in to my (gasp!) 30th year of life with more energy and focus and more loving me!
2. Become more organized. Trust me I have the best intentions when it comes to this, but somehow it always veers off course.
3. Keep the apartment "tidy." This by no means means spotless. It is nice when that happens, but right now I am to the point where I have to stop kicking myself when it doesn't look "perfect" whatever that means. To me as long as I can pick up after myself and keep the dishes out of the sink and the laundry from piling up half way up the wall, I will call that a success and keep going from there.
4. Look for a second job, or a full time job. I love my job at the Pier, but I need more hours, so I am just praying for another fitting part time job, or a full time job doing something that I love!
5. Sell my photographs. I have an account all set up, I think it's just a fear of failure or lack of people "loving" what I do that makes me scared to do it, but I am going to face that fear, put myself out there and just roll with it!
6. I want to learn how to knit. I want to make scarves, and socks and cute little baby things, and NO that is NOT a hint about anything. Trust me. Not happening. Yet.
7. Make more time for my husband. I am going to be praying for him every day.
8. Take my medication every day. Sometimes I feel like I don't need to take it because I am "better" but trust me, I need to take it. I am not better. I make excuses and I have been having headaches lately because I need to go for a Med Check at the Mental Health Clinic in order to renew my meds and I have been putting it off. Laziness really, no other excuses, and the fact that I think I am okay. Yeah, right. So I have to take care of that, and then go from there.
I love fresh starts, the chance to start anew and begin again, it's a GRACE in my life I cannot do without. I have to accept the GRACE, and keep moving forward. I think that is one of the biggest challenges in my life. Not beating myself up when something doesn't go MY way. I am still learning that lesson, to let go and let God, to accept his GRACE even when I feel like I am a loser and have let Him down, again. Big surprise, what's new right?
I think that might even be the most "important" goal on my list. To really let God in, allow him to move me and show me what He wants for me, for Jake for US in our lives. We are searching, we are listening, we are striving now we just have to give God that space, to accept His forgiveness, the fullness of Him and his Grace, and let Him lead us where He wants us to be. Whether that is reaching our goals we have set for ourselves, facing new challenges or just being present in every moment, of every day.
We know God is guiding us, we just have to give up the stubborn beings we are and let Him do it! I have a habit of thinking I know "better" than God what I need in my life and so I tell Him how it's going to be! Yeah, that doesn't work so well, it has NOT been working so well. This year is the time I allow it to be up to God. To Take my life and let it be, for Him!
So, here's to fresh starts, new beginnings, a Genesis, accepting Grace and letting God take over.
