Wow, this month has flown by! I cannot believe that it is almost May and the last time I wrote on here seems like so long ago. I have been most blessed in my new job and love being there day after day. It is finally picking up with the warmer weather we've had lately, and it rained last week and everything, all the buds on the trees and shrubs, and flowers they just popped out and burst forth in a sea of color and glory. I love being able to witness that firsthand every day as there is always something new.
The past few days it has been raining off and on, and thunderstorms have been pretty constant as well. To me this is one of my most favorite things, to be able to smell the rain, and see the grass turn green again, and the buds opening on the plants, it is the smell of renewal, of rebirth, the Genesis of Spring if you will. I count myself blessed to be able to bear witness to such a marvelous thing, and it never gets old, every year I look forward to the "newness" of God's creation. It helps to remind me that everything is made new, and makes me think of my life being made new again in Christ.
The rain to me is a reminder of how all my sins have been washed away through Him and how He is constantly working in my life. My life now has been renewed through Him, the one who saved me and constantly reminds me, even in the little things like the rain that He is near, and He is in control. HE is the one who was with me in the biggest storms in my life and He will always be, and I will always be grateful for such love and grace in my life.
I WILL Praise You in This Storm.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
Up to my elbows in soil
Hey all, yes I am still here! I have not forgotten about my readers :-) I have recently started a new chapter in my life, one that Jake and I have been hoping and praying for.
After losing my job in February I was on the hunt for another one, one where I could use the gifts and talents that my God has given me. One that I got that degree in Horticulture and Landscape Design for. Something that I could feel like I was accomplishing more and more every day and proving to myself that I could do it, despite that "other" voice telling me I couldn't and I was hopeless and worthless and I didn't deserve any of it. I really don't like that voice.
So at the beginning of April I interviewed for a job at a place called Country Landscapes, Inc. for a position in the nursery where I would be doing daily tasks of taking care of the nursery and watering plants, helping customers, etc. This would have been a great job, but it did not have benefits and being as we currently had no health insurance, we talked it over and decided that I would take the job if it was offered to me and that we would look for health insurance ourselves. Not ideal, but it was a job I wanted, a job that I really hate to admit, NEEDED after all the things I'd struggled with in the past few months.
A couple weeks later I got an email from one of the Nursery Personnel at Country Landscapes telling me that they would love to hire me, but since I was considered to be "too qualified" for the nursery position I had originally interviewed for, they wanted to interview me for a new position, that would include year round work, as well as Benefits, which included Health Insurance; which we desperately needed, especially because of all the prescriptions I am currently taking for various issues. Yes Please! I almost had to hide my excitement when I called them back to let them know that yes I was indeed interested. They asked me if I could start on March 9th, regardless of which position I had, and I said yes I would.
My first day of work I loved every moment, and treasured the hard work despite the cold weather and was so excited to be doing something I had longed to do for a long time, but held myself back because I didn't think I was good enough, or that I deserved it. On my way to lunch, I got the good news, I had gotten "THE Job" the one with the benefits that we totally needed. This huge weight instantly fell from my shoulders and I felt alive and new and all my worries that I had been holding onto disappeared. I know who took them away, it was God, after all it had been Satan who had been weighing me down with all those worries and fears, and now they were all gone. It made me happy and sad at the same time, Happy because our prayers had been answered, and doubts and worries vanished, but Sad because I should never have had all those doubts and worries in the first place, especially after my first real encounter with God. He is always there, by my side, through it all.
Now being outside, in the Creation of God everyday, and being able to work among just a handful of the beauty He's created gives me renewed hope and joy every day and I have faith that I will continue to do this for a very long time. After all, these are the gifts that God has given me and I now know why he led me here on this seemingly long journey to Ames, Iowa. He led me straight to a place that needed me, and exactly where I needed to be at this time in my life. Even after all my fighting and sadness to want to leave this place, He gave me the patience and guidance I so desperately longed for and showed me the way once again.
God is Good.
After losing my job in February I was on the hunt for another one, one where I could use the gifts and talents that my God has given me. One that I got that degree in Horticulture and Landscape Design for. Something that I could feel like I was accomplishing more and more every day and proving to myself that I could do it, despite that "other" voice telling me I couldn't and I was hopeless and worthless and I didn't deserve any of it. I really don't like that voice.
So at the beginning of April I interviewed for a job at a place called Country Landscapes, Inc. for a position in the nursery where I would be doing daily tasks of taking care of the nursery and watering plants, helping customers, etc. This would have been a great job, but it did not have benefits and being as we currently had no health insurance, we talked it over and decided that I would take the job if it was offered to me and that we would look for health insurance ourselves. Not ideal, but it was a job I wanted, a job that I really hate to admit, NEEDED after all the things I'd struggled with in the past few months.
A couple weeks later I got an email from one of the Nursery Personnel at Country Landscapes telling me that they would love to hire me, but since I was considered to be "too qualified" for the nursery position I had originally interviewed for, they wanted to interview me for a new position, that would include year round work, as well as Benefits, which included Health Insurance; which we desperately needed, especially because of all the prescriptions I am currently taking for various issues. Yes Please! I almost had to hide my excitement when I called them back to let them know that yes I was indeed interested. They asked me if I could start on March 9th, regardless of which position I had, and I said yes I would.
My first day of work I loved every moment, and treasured the hard work despite the cold weather and was so excited to be doing something I had longed to do for a long time, but held myself back because I didn't think I was good enough, or that I deserved it. On my way to lunch, I got the good news, I had gotten "THE Job" the one with the benefits that we totally needed. This huge weight instantly fell from my shoulders and I felt alive and new and all my worries that I had been holding onto disappeared. I know who took them away, it was God, after all it had been Satan who had been weighing me down with all those worries and fears, and now they were all gone. It made me happy and sad at the same time, Happy because our prayers had been answered, and doubts and worries vanished, but Sad because I should never have had all those doubts and worries in the first place, especially after my first real encounter with God. He is always there, by my side, through it all.
Now being outside, in the Creation of God everyday, and being able to work among just a handful of the beauty He's created gives me renewed hope and joy every day and I have faith that I will continue to do this for a very long time. After all, these are the gifts that God has given me and I now know why he led me here on this seemingly long journey to Ames, Iowa. He led me straight to a place that needed me, and exactly where I needed to be at this time in my life. Even after all my fighting and sadness to want to leave this place, He gave me the patience and guidance I so desperately longed for and showed me the way once again.
God is Good.
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