Up to my elbows in soil

Hey all, yes I am still here! I have not forgotten about my readers :-) I have recently started a new chapter in my life, one that Jake and I have been hoping and praying for.

After losing my job in February I was on the hunt for another one, one where I could use the gifts and talents that my God has given me. One that I got that degree in Horticulture and Landscape Design for. Something that I could feel like I was accomplishing more and more every day and proving to myself that I could do it, despite that "other" voice telling me I couldn't and I was hopeless and worthless and I didn't deserve any of it. I really don't like that voice.

So at the beginning of April I interviewed for a job at a place called Country Landscapes, Inc. for a position in the nursery where I would be doing daily tasks of taking care of the nursery and watering plants, helping customers, etc. This would have been a great job, but it did not have benefits and being as we currently had no health insurance, we talked it over and decided that I would take the job if it was offered to me and that we would look for health insurance ourselves. Not ideal, but it was a job I wanted, a job that I really hate to admit, NEEDED after all the things I'd struggled with in the past few months.

A couple weeks later I got an email from one of the Nursery Personnel at Country Landscapes telling me that they would love to hire me, but since I was considered to be "too qualified" for the nursery position I had originally interviewed for, they wanted to interview me for a new position, that would include year round work, as well as Benefits, which included Health Insurance; which we desperately needed, especially because of all the prescriptions I am currently taking for various issues. Yes Please! I almost had to hide my excitement when I called them back to let them know that yes I was indeed interested. They asked me if I could start on March 9th, regardless of which position I had, and I said yes I would.

My first day of work I loved every moment, and treasured the hard work despite the cold weather and was so excited to be doing something I had longed to do for a long time, but held myself back because I didn't think I was good enough, or that I deserved it. On my way to lunch, I got the good news, I had gotten "THE Job" the one with the benefits that we totally needed. This huge weight instantly fell from my shoulders and I felt alive and new and all my worries that I had been holding onto disappeared. I know who took them away, it was God, after all it had been Satan who had been weighing me down with all those worries and fears, and now they were all gone. It made me happy and sad at the same time, Happy because our prayers had been answered, and doubts and worries vanished, but Sad because I should never have had all those doubts and worries in the first place, especially after my first real encounter with God. He is always there, by my side, through it all.

Now being outside, in the Creation of God everyday, and being able to work among just a handful of the beauty He's created gives me renewed hope and joy every day and I have faith that I will continue to do this for a very long time. After all, these are the gifts that God has given me and I now know why he led me here on this seemingly long journey to Ames, Iowa. He led me straight to a place that needed me, and exactly where I needed to be at this time in my life. Even after all my fighting and sadness to want to leave this place, He gave me the patience and guidance I so desperately longed for and showed me the way once again.

God is Good.

Happy Birthday Little Princess

Today it has been a year since my niece Victoria Lynn was born, and it seems like just yesterday, even her mom says so, and can't believe her baby is already a year old today. This weekend we are driving back to Northwest Iowa to help celebrate her birthday, and we are so very excited to be there for this momentous occasion! Living here we missed a lot of firsts with her, and getting to see her grow through this first year of her little life. It seems like every time we go back everything has changed, and now I hear she's even walking? or close to it. Just the last time we were there she was learning to crawl. It's such a miracle, these little ones that God brings into our lives and they bring us such joy. I am privileged to be her aunt (and Daemon and Elissa's too of course :-) and look forward to many more years of watching her learn and grow into the person God has already made her to be :-) Love you Tori Belle! Kisses from Auntie Nikki and Uncle Jake.
Candice and Ryan this next part is for you. This is the song that was played at Victoria's baptism.

Dance Party in my Kitchen

As some of you may know, I love to have random dance parties in my apartment when I am cleaning and I have the radio on and I think no one is watching. So the other day I was cleaning and a song came on the radio that I am sure I have heard before, but perhaps was unaware because of the darkness that surrounded my heart.
Anyway, this song made my drop what I was doing, and I was spinning and twirling around with my hands up in the air and swaying from side to side. It was as if there was a tugging on my heart strings and I just began to dance, and sing! I had no idea I even knew the words to the song, but somehow they all just came through my mouth. By the end of the song I was crying and laughing and smiling, sort of a strange combination if you think about it, but when you understand the meaning behind it, and why it was happening and Who caused my heart to feel like that, it's not really crazy or random at all! It was God, and the Holy Spirit moving me in worship and praise, what an amazing thought!
I know this song was meant for me to hear in this moment, it just made sense, seeing everything that I have been through in the last half a year with depression and sickness, that I would be able to worship and praise God through this song is to me a miracle in itself. Regardless of if it was an "everyday miracle" or not, it was still a miracle in my life, to my soul, in my heart. Praise God from whom all Blessings Flow! Our Hope Endures.

Our Hope Endures - Natalie Grant