Turn me towards the sun and water me periodically...

That's the status on my facebook page today. I am done, or feeling like I am done anyway. Let me tell you why.

I got some answers from the doctors last week (FINALLY!) after 3 long months of being sick and not feeling like myself. Turns out I have an intestinal mal-absorbtion problem. In short that means all the nutrients in the food I eat don't get absorbed into my system but all the fat goes straight through to my stomach and intestines, and wall-ah, stomach problems. Lovely. So to counter-act all the this the doc prescribed some Colestid, which is supposed to help bind all the fats together and not make my stomach so gross anymore. Yay! Also I have to start taking a multi-vitamin; the children's chewables so that I can absorb it easier, as well as Vitamins A and D to help with any of the nutrients I may be lacking and also for fatigue. At this same appointment, as I suspected and pretty much already knew, I was diagnosed as having depression. To counter-act those symptoms I have been put on Prozac, with the option to switch to a different anti-depressant if this one gives me any bad side effects. So yay! I am able to help myself and it really is NOT all in my head! (only some of it :-) My mom said, she thinks it's great that we have those kinds of medicines, so that we are able to help ourselves, and that she thinks God obviously allowed people to make them for a reason, so we can feel better and better about ourselves, so there is no reason I should feel "ashamed" for getting help with the Prozac. Moms always put things into perspective don't they? :-)

I cannot tell you how long it seems that I have waited for all of this to come to fruition, many people have been thinking of and praying for me (and Jake) in all this, and there are no words that I can use to thank all of you enough! However, we still need those prayers, and covet them more than you all know or probably even realize! I have still been having some symptoms despite the medication, and I have been feeling really sick these last few days.

Today I had another doctors appointment and he wants me to have a CT scan on my abdomen, to rule out anything really bad; ie: lesions, cancer, etc. that could be effecting my liver and pancreatic enzyme levels. He doesn't think that that's what it is, but wants to rule it out because my blood tests have been showing really high levels in many areas, but especially those. That appointment is next week Thursday 12/11/08 at 8:30am and I have to drink this fun "contrast" stuff beforehand, so prayers for my nerves and also for me to be able to keep that stuff down, cause I hear it's not the most pleasant thing I could ever drink :-) After the CT I will follow up with the specialist in GI (Gastrointerology) again, and go from there.

So you can imagine, after all that why I am done. I feel really alone in all this sometimes, and I have to check myself back into reality and remind myself that I am not alone, and it could always be worse than what it is. I don't want to feel sorry for myself, and I should not be, because I have been so blessed in my life. Sometimes it's still hard though, and I know that it's not just me going through these hard times, it is God, me, Jake, my family and friends, they're all in this with me too! It's amazing to think and to know that I have that much support no matter where I am and what I am going through in my life.

To end, I have been hearing this great song from Tenth Avenue North all over the radio since my friend Sarah introduced me to them a few weeks ago, and I cannot help but to think that this song is from God as a message to me. Not only to me, but to all those who need to know that no matter what He is by your side, through it all.