Up to my elbows in soil

Hey all, yes I am still here! I have not forgotten about my readers :-) I have recently started a new chapter in my life, one that Jake and I have been hoping and praying for.

After losing my job in February I was on the hunt for another one, one where I could use the gifts and talents that my God has given me. One that I got that degree in Horticulture and Landscape Design for. Something that I could feel like I was accomplishing more and more every day and proving to myself that I could do it, despite that "other" voice telling me I couldn't and I was hopeless and worthless and I didn't deserve any of it. I really don't like that voice.

So at the beginning of April I interviewed for a job at a place called Country Landscapes, Inc. for a position in the nursery where I would be doing daily tasks of taking care of the nursery and watering plants, helping customers, etc. This would have been a great job, but it did not have benefits and being as we currently had no health insurance, we talked it over and decided that I would take the job if it was offered to me and that we would look for health insurance ourselves. Not ideal, but it was a job I wanted, a job that I really hate to admit, NEEDED after all the things I'd struggled with in the past few months.

A couple weeks later I got an email from one of the Nursery Personnel at Country Landscapes telling me that they would love to hire me, but since I was considered to be "too qualified" for the nursery position I had originally interviewed for, they wanted to interview me for a new position, that would include year round work, as well as Benefits, which included Health Insurance; which we desperately needed, especially because of all the prescriptions I am currently taking for various issues. Yes Please! I almost had to hide my excitement when I called them back to let them know that yes I was indeed interested. They asked me if I could start on March 9th, regardless of which position I had, and I said yes I would.

My first day of work I loved every moment, and treasured the hard work despite the cold weather and was so excited to be doing something I had longed to do for a long time, but held myself back because I didn't think I was good enough, or that I deserved it. On my way to lunch, I got the good news, I had gotten "THE Job" the one with the benefits that we totally needed. This huge weight instantly fell from my shoulders and I felt alive and new and all my worries that I had been holding onto disappeared. I know who took them away, it was God, after all it had been Satan who had been weighing me down with all those worries and fears, and now they were all gone. It made me happy and sad at the same time, Happy because our prayers had been answered, and doubts and worries vanished, but Sad because I should never have had all those doubts and worries in the first place, especially after my first real encounter with God. He is always there, by my side, through it all.

Now being outside, in the Creation of God everyday, and being able to work among just a handful of the beauty He's created gives me renewed hope and joy every day and I have faith that I will continue to do this for a very long time. After all, these are the gifts that God has given me and I now know why he led me here on this seemingly long journey to Ames, Iowa. He led me straight to a place that needed me, and exactly where I needed to be at this time in my life. Even after all my fighting and sadness to want to leave this place, He gave me the patience and guidance I so desperately longed for and showed me the way once again.

God is Good.